Bonfire

I'm going to be open and intimate with you all about a past "fuck". I call him that because now that I look back that's exactly what i was to him and him to me. I will forewarn you now.... NEVER ATTACH EMOTIONS TO SEX UNLESS IT'S A MUTUAL AGREEMENT!!! Now this went on for at least 4 years... I know shame on me DAMN!!! So back in the day before the kid I was in a "situation" (not relationship, which often gets confused). Met a guy that was easy and pleasing on the eyes. He was slick with his word game which intrigued me more. The brother had three jobs and his own place... OWWWWW right. Yeah only for a little while. He asked for a date which I agreed. I was picked up and greeted with a rose and the opening and closing of the car door (such a gentleman, momma did raise him right). So dinner then back to his place, tv and yes you know what happend next. Sex! It was great too. So I'm back home feeling great. A week goes by and then the text messages start coming in and going out.. Yep nothing but sex after that. Then everything came to a hault!!!! I was like What, Wait, Hold Up, What the fuck happened? i thought everything was cool!?! I was Wrong! Very Wrong! So a year or two passes and I see him again at a club, we exchanged numbers and yep it happened again. It went on for three months and then NOTHING!! He's a ghost. So a year and a half later I get a FB message (since we did exchange words there before) and of course the message started of with greetings and salutation (in the back of my mind I'm thinking I know exactly where this may/will end up, so let me say my peace NOW). I wanted answers to questions like "why do we talk and do what we do for a couple of months then stop?" and even down to "Am I just your piece of ass when you break up with your girl?" I wanted/needed clousure from this because I attached myself (emotions) to this man and expected things from him that I was NEVER going to get. Now of course I was nieve thinking that using my pussy would bring about a relationship. I was highly wrong and stupid... but hey we all need to grow up right? RIGHT!!! (Nod your head in agreement.. lol thanks) Long story( yes I'm a little longwinded, but you needed the details.. LOL) short I got the answers to some questions not all. But I can and did figure them out for myself. I didn't need to play myself like a yo-yo anymore.. Drop my life when he wanted some(pussy) and pick it back up when he was ghost. Even my girls told me to stop dealing with him.. but yeah didn't listen to them shit, What did they know?! Welp they knew he wasn't worth my time so I should've listened to them.. Damnit could've saved myself a hell of a lot of time! (Thank you MY and MK :)) Welp that is over and sone with no going back to that or starting another situation that will end up the same way. Not bashing him (trust me I wish him and his new girl the best of luck... I do mean that...somewhat), he needed closure as well and I hope he got it. Now to the reason I like to call this BONFIRE I titled this Bonfire because this is my chance to let the past "fuck(s)" BURN. Light a match and let all those emotions go... yes!!!!! I know I'm not the only one either... I KNOW I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE ... (yeah I screamed a little) that has went through something like this or is going through something like this. My advice to you is to release all those emotions that were attached to that "situation" write a letter, tell em' how you feel, throw it in the grill or fireplace and watch that shit burn!! Throw away the couch and the bed (wherever you may have done the "business" and move on with life)... Trust me I have and it feels UMMM HMMM GREAT!!! Welp that's all I wanted to say for today at least... I look forward to your comments or tweets (@mochakdb) Smooches my loves!!